Is It Weird for a Guy to Read Romance Books?

So, you walk into a bookstore and spot a dude in the romance aisle. Does your brain quietly go, “Weird”? You’re not alone—there’s still this old idea that romance novels are just for women. But here’s the real deal: guys are picking up love stories way more than people think.

You know what’s actually weird? The judgment about it. Stories are stories, no matter what shelf they’re on. Romance isn’t just about happily-ever-afters and dramatic hugs in the rain. There’s solid character growth, witty dialogue, and actual life lessons stuck between the steamy bits.

If you’re a guy (or know a guy) who’s on the fence about reading romance, you’re in good company. The numbers are changing, and plenty of men have started talking openly about reading these books—and not just to flirt with someone at the gym. Romance novels can teach a lot about empathy, communication, and even handling heartbreak.

No need to stress about “fitting in” with book club chats or side-eyes from relatives. At home, Thalia caught me with a romance paperback once and just shrugged—kids hardly blink at this stuff. The upside? Finding totally new stories and perspectives that you’d never get from another genre.

Thinking about giving romance novels a shot? Start simple. Pick a book with a fun plot or a setting you know you’ll vibe with. Don’t worry about “what it says” about you. The only real rule is reading what makes you happy.

• Breaking the Stereotype
• Who Actually Reads Romance?
• What’s in It for Guys?
• Real-Life Stories: Men and Romance Books
• How to Start (and Not Feel Awkward)
• What Romance Teaches About Life and Relationships

Breaking the Stereotype

The idea that romance novels are for women only? It’s outdated. Romance novels are actually one of the most-read genres on the planet—clocking in over a billion dollars in sales each year. Men may not talk about it as much, but they’re definitely reading, too.

Back in 2017, a survey from the Romance Writers of America found around 16% of their readers were men. Doesn’t sound impressive? Think about it—romance is the biggest genre out there. Even 16% of a massive audience is millions of guys. And younger men are showing up even more in online book clubs and forums, talking about stories they liked, characters that surprised them, and even what they learned about relationships.

Why the secret? Mostly, it’s that old stereotype: that men shouldn’t care about feelings or stories focused on love. But scroll through social media or book review sites, and you’ll see plenty of guys sharing recommendations and asking for more titles with solid storylines and real emotional depth. Turns out, reading about relationships doesn’t make you less of a man. It might even make you more interesting to talk to.

Here’s what guys are saying when asked why they like romance stories:

• They want a break from the usual murder mysteries or action-heavy plots.
• Good romance has believable dialogue and realistic situations.
• They enjoy seeing the world from different perspectives.
• Some are trying to better understand their partners.

The more dudes talk about their favorite romance books, the more normal it gets. It’s not just about breaking a silly stereotype—it’s about opening up reading options for everyone.

Who Actually Reads Romance?

When most folks hear "romance novels," they usually picture a woman curled up with a steamy paperback. But here’s the surprise: the crowd enjoying these books is actually bigger and way more mixed than people think.

According to a 2023 report from the Romance Writers of America, nearly 20% of romance novel readers are men. That’s a lot more than you'd guess from just looking at bookstore ads. And this number keeps rising. Audible also said that male listens for romance audiobooks jumped by almost 40% in 2022. So these stories aren’t just being read—they’re being listened to on commutes, at the gym, everywhere.

Group	Percent of Romance Readers
Women	78%
Men	20%
Nonbinary/Other	2%

The old ideas about who reads romance are falling apart. A bunch of young guys in their teens and twenties have found series they like, some for the fantasy settings, some for the drama, and plenty just want a chill read with good banter. Even dads like me (yep, Thalia and Quentin sometimes ask why there’s a swoony couple on my cover) are picking them up for something different after a long week.

The funny thing? Most guys don’t always shout about their hobby. But check out Reddit or book forums and you’ll see threads with dudes openly swapping tips for their favorite titles. Some even jump into romantic novels to get relationship insights—others just want a solid story that gives them a break from crime thrillers and sci-fi battles. Turns out, there isn’t just one “type” of romance reader. There’s grandparents, college students, single and married folks, and yes—even more men than you might think.

What’s in It for Guys?

First off, reading romance novels isn’t just about cheesy love stories or cringey covers. There’s real value here for guys—practical stuff that goes beyond just passing the time. Let’s break down what you actually get out of cracking open those romance novels.

For one, reading about relationships can help guys get better at talking about feelings. You see all kinds of ups and downs in these books: misunderstandings, breakups, makeups, and even awkward first-date moments. Watching characters work through this stuff can spark some big “aha” moments about your own life. That’s not just fluffy talk. Studies have shown that reading fiction, romance included, helps people develop more empathy—meaning you get better at understanding and connecting with others.

• Communication skills: You pick up on how people say what they mean (or hide it), which comes in handy outside of books, especially in real-life relationships.
• Perspective: Romance is packed with diverse characters and situations. Seeing things from their shoes can give you a wider view of the world.
• Stress relief: Escaping into someone else’s story could help take the edge off a rough week at work or home.
• Confidence: There’s something cool about being able to talk about any genre—even a so-called “girly” one—without caring about the eye-rolls.

Here’s a quick fact: a survey by the Romance Writers of America found that at least 18% of romance readers are men. Think about it—companies like Harlequin have entire series written by male authors for male audiences. It’s not just a secret club anymore.

Romance novels also show the messier, sometimes hilarious realities of love, breakup, and awkward flirting. Guys reading these books get a front-row seat to situations most of us find ourselves in but rarely talk about. It’s like free relationship coaching, minus the bill.

Bottom line? There’s nothing “weird” about getting smarter about love, learning new things about communication, and picking up tips you can actually use. Men reading romance is a win, whether you’re single, married, or somewhere in between.

Real-Life Stories: Men and Romance Books

Guys reading romance novels isn’t just a myth or some Reddit gossip. There are legit examples everywhere—once you know where to look. The author Colleen Hoover, for example, has openly said that about 15% of her massive reader base are men, based on sales data and social media polls. That’s millions of dudes buying and actually talking about her books.

There’s this one guy, Jake, who started reading romance to understand his girlfriend better. He figured if every book club was buzzing about these books, he might as well check one out. He ended up binge-reading—and he says his own relationship got smoother, especially when it came to talking about feelings. Wild, right?

Pro football player Clay Harbor (yeah, the guy from "The Bachelorette") admitted he reads romance on planes because it chills him out and makes long travel less boring. He laughs about it now, but he’s totally cool owning up to it in interviews.

Online, book communities like Goodreads and Reddit have whole subgroups just for men who like romantic novels. Some swap recommendations; others just want a place where no one’s going to call them weird for enjoying these stories. And it makes sense. According to a 2023 poll by Romance Writers of America—and these folks aren’t messing around—roughly 18% of all romance readers are men.

Year	Percent of Male Romance Readers
2017	12%
2020	15%
2023	18%

At home, I’ve seen how reading romance books helps me really get where people are coming from—kids included. Quentin even wanted to know why I was reading a book with hearts on the cover. I just told him, "Good stories come in all colors—including pink." Turns out, the only ones thinking it’s weird are usually folks who haven’t even tried it.

How to Start (and Not Feel Awkward)

Jumping into romance novels for the first time can feel weird if you’re a guy, but it’s seriously not a big deal. There are some easy ways to get started without feeling like you’re doing something strange. Honestly, most people barely notice what book you’re carrying—everyone’s too busy with their own stuff.

If you want to dip your toes in, try these steps:

1. Pick a Subgenre That Excites You: Not all romance books are about billionaire CEOs or old castles. There’s romantic comedy, sports romance, paranormal, historical, even action-packed stuff. Grab a book that has a plot or setting you’re already interested in—think of it almost like picking a movie.
2. Go Digital for Privacy: E-books are a stealthy way to read whatever you want without catching looks on the subway or in a coffee shop. A study in 2023 showed over 60% of new romance readers are now choosing digital. No cover, no assumptions.
3. Ignore the Stereotypes: The whole idea that romance is only for women is falling apart. Actual polls from major book retailers like Barnes & Noble say male readership in romance has jumped about 20% over the past five years. You’re not an oddball for reading what you like.
4. Ask for Recommendations: Plenty of men on Reddit, BookTok, and YouTube share lists just for guys, with great starter titles, honestly-reviewed. Plus, nobody says you have to start with the classics. Modern romance authors like Talia Hibbert, Alexis Hall, or even Haruki Murakami (yup, a lot of romance in his books) offer solid choices that aren’t just mushy stuff.
5. Read for You, Not for Them: At the end of the day, you’re reading to enjoy yourself. If a book grabs your attention, who really cares about the cover? The best stories are the ones you connect with, not the ones you read to fit a mold.

Check out some quick facts about who’s really reading romance novels:

Reader	% of Romance Market (2024)
Women	76%
Men	19%
Non-binary/Other	5%

It’s not just women flipping pages—guys make up nearly a fifth of the market. The next time you’re up for something new, go for that romance novel. Nobody’s going to call you out, and you might actually love it.

What Romance Teaches About Life and Relationships

People always joke that romance novels set expectations too high, but honestly, they get a lot right when it comes to real relationships. One thing these books hammer home is communication—characters talk things out and face messy problems head-on, instead of just ghosting each other. Even the silliest plot has couples figuring out feelings and boundaries. If you ever wondered how to say sorry, or how to actually listen instead of just nodding along, there’s a romance novel out there showing how it’s done.

And empathy? It’s everywhere. Romance novels force you into a character’s shoes, seeing things from someone else’s perspective. It’s not just about the steamy scenes; it’s about understanding why people act the way they do, what hurts them, what makes them happy. This practice pays off in real life when you’re trying not to snap at your partner after a long day or when your kid’s having a meltdown and needs extra patience.

Did you know a study by the Romance Writers of America found that almost 30% of male romance readers say the books helped them learn better communication skills for their own relationships? Here’s some food for thought:

Skill	% of Male Readers Reporting Improvement
Communication	30%
Empathy	27%
Understanding Boundaries	21%

Another thing guys pick up from romance books? Conflict resolution. Most stories don’t brush past fights or misunderstandings. Instead, you see how couples mess up, own their mistakes, and work through it. The drama’s more relatable than you’d think—basically, it’s conflict with a “how to fix it” guide built in.

You also get to see positive masculinity in action. A good chunk of men reading romance get exposure to characters who aren’t afraid to be vulnerable or emotional—something guys don’t see enough of in most other genres. That stuff sticks with you, and it’s honestly made me more okay with talking about feelings, even if it’s awkward sometimes.

Don’t be surprised if you discover basics that help in parenting or friendships too. I’ve literally borrowed lines from a well-written hero when apologizing to Thalia after snapping at her for losing my keys. Turns out, a sweet, honest apology works just as well with your kid as it does in a book.